#093: Coach More, Rescue Less: 7 Power Questions To Ask Your Team | Michael Bungay Stanier

That it gives them the control of the conversation you’re not telling.

About you’re saying you get to choose I’m giving you autonomy I’m giving you that powerful thing around picking where we go with this conversation it’s.

A great engagement technique right there but you’re not saying to them so just tell me anything you’re saying to them pick the thing that matters what you’re excited about or worried about or you know waking up at 4 o’clock in the morning about I.

Mean honestly if you if you have direct reports and you do that weekly one to one meeting.

Which for so many of us sucks quite badly because it’s you know it’s like an hour reporting out of stuff you’re trying to look interested and they’re trying to look interested and it was the point of that you could just send me an email I could have scanned.

It in three minutes tweak your your your one-to-one meetings and tell them you either do this beforehand but say to them.

So you’ve got a lot going on you’re busy tell me of.

All the stuff that you’re working on what’s on your.

Mind and you’re going to go somewhere more challenging and more interesting it’s gonna be a.

Better conversation that’s good so that’s the kickstart question that final question the learning question because here’s your job as a manager as a leader as somebody who’s influencing people around you I think you can frame your job as be a teacher you should be helping people learn because when you help people learn you’re helping them become more confident more confident more autonomous smart and more effective all those things that not only helps them but honestly it helps you because if think if you’ve got a bunch of smart competent confident or.

Timeless people working for you you get to see the fruits of their labors and you all get to enjoy the success of that but.

To be a teacher you have to understand how people learn and honestly people don’t learn when you tell them stuff that’s a problem because most of us advice-giving maniacs right but you give most people advice hey they don’t really remember it kind of goes in one ear and out the other yeah secondly to be honest most of your advice isn’t nearly.

As good as you think it is is that they don’t even really learn when they’re doing stuff they do kind of a little bit but not so much they learn when they have a moment to reflect and what just happened so here’s the practical thing you could do at the end of your team meetings of.

Your one-on-one chats of your emails of your.

Iimbs with your team with your boss with your peers.

With your customers with your vendors at the end of those.

Interactions pause for a moment and say something like look this has been great but before you head off let me just ask out of curiosity what was most useful and most valuable here for you and if you want you can be bold and you can tell them what was most useful or valuable for you in that interaction.

Is three things number one you get them to figure out and extract the value from the exchange that you’ve just had and honestly you may be thinking that this was a genius conversation they may be going I have no idea what the point of all that was about so now you’re forcing them to find the value secondly you’re getting feedback on this so you’re actually hearing what was useful you probably get to adapt and.

Adjust what you do and how you do it and thirdly in.

Kind of more cunningly you’re framing every interaction with you as a useful valuable interaction so you become a useful valued manager leader partner peer what.

It might be Wow and I know that final bookend question you know what what jumped out at me and even more than when I read the book Michael was the way you you set it up that it doesn’t have to be this checklist approach where okay here’s question seven let me look down on the page I’m gonna look up and read the question.

To you and you know you’re gonna tell me back what did you find most value I like the way you said I was.

Like hey you know before you go can you I’m.

Just curious why don’t you tell me what was what was most valuable and I and I think that conversational non-threatening way you know invites an honest answer and doesn’t make it seem like some fake theatrics you picked up on one of the subtle things that I did that’s a great thing for people to hear and build into their own habits which is the.

Phrase out of curiosity when you put that in front of any question it just makes it feel less significant less important that you better get the answer.

Right or I’m gonna punish you somehow so wherever you said that accuracy what’s on your mind he had a curiosity what’s the real challenge here for you just.

Out of curiosity what was most useful or valuable about this podcast with Kevin and.

Michael you know it just makes it lighter but you still get to ask the question directly yeah I’m a big fan of key phrases I think words can be magical and I that’s a gift you just gave me and our listeners of you know just out of curiosity I think that’s powerful and the other thing I wanted to also.

Emphasize is you know great Adult Learning Theory shows again the whole kind of didactic lecturing model doesn’t work yeah terrible terrible they call it another the alternate theory they call this constructivism and it’s like you know the we construct our own learning and that’s exactly everyone what you know michael seventh question does it’s.

Forcing that extraction backs it’s like okay I’ve got to now recall it I’ve.

Got to think about it and recall it which also which also anchors it of course tremendous it I do have a follow-up on your approach because so you’re talking about using these seven questions and having this conversation even if it’s.

Just ten minutes making a habit out of it so is is this something that we would do during that during that weekly one-on-one and what do you think about.

The other advice about coaching where it’s like that motto from the the security agency here in the states that.

Says if you see something say something you know it’s a big motto and you know so I’m like so if I see somebody doing something let’s just say wrong or could be better do I break out the seven.

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