Questions on the spot or is that a different kind of coaching yes a great question so the two parts to it the first part is to say I think every interaction you have with somebody.
Has the potential to be more coach like so you know there’s an email you can do it by chat you can.
Do a casual conversation it can be a more.
Formal conversation all of them you could go hey maybe I can just be a little bit more curious here rather than rushing into action and advice-giving so what we’re looking to.
Do is not add to what’s already there we’re not trying to pour water into a full glass what we’re trying to do is put a little bit of food coloring into that water and just transform what you currently do then to your second point.
Which is well what about the feedback moment where there’s them making mistake you ask them questions do you do you do something else what happens with that well coaching and.
Feedback dance together on the same floor you know there are really powerful partnership if you can combine them well and there.
Are times when somebody’s making a mistake what you need to be doing here is not asking them a question but actually giving them some direct feedback now we don’t have time to jump into too much detail about that but here’s what I would say are the four key components of feedback this comes.
It’s going to derive from something called nonviolent communication marshall rosenberg’s work and he says look everything you do everything you talk about communication has four parts to it the data those are the facts your feelings so your your emotional response.
To what’s going on your judgments so that’s your opinion your interpretation of the data and then what what.
You want or what you need now in most feedback what happens is there’s this unholy combination between data and judgments and we try and make it all sound like it’s the truth feelings don’t get talked about at all because we’re all uptight white men.
Right or some variation on that and then it’s not actually a request for what’s wanted or what’s needed so if you’re but if you see somebody making mistake and you go I’ve got to start this with feedback the fastest thing you can do is going what’s the data.
Here I mean what it what’s truly fact what are my judgments and which of those judgments are actually useful because some judgments won’t be the judgments that I’ve hired a complete loser and they’re looking to sabotage my career not useful right right and then what do I want what do I need what’s the request I want to make and the spine of your conversation needs to be the data and what do you want and what do you need what’s true.
And then what’s the request you want to make for what’s different and if you get that done then that often leads into an opportunity to use the coaching questions in some way beautiful.
Michael last question before we wrap up I always challenge our listeners to.
Try to become just a little bit better every single day so I want you to challenge us what is something you want to have us do today we can try out today to get.
A little bit better so you know the thing that the Drummey been banging thread this whole conversation with kevin is stay curious a little bit longer.
Rush to action and advice just a little bit slower and some of you get that already which is fantastic I’ve given you three of the seven questions I’m gonna give you the fourth question and this is the best coaching question in the world.
The acronym is awwe so it’s literally an awesome question and I call it the best coaching question in the world cuz it’s a way.
Other question you ask and the question is and what else because the first answer anybody gives you to a question is never their only.
Answer and it’s rarely their best answer so when you ask a question follow it up with and what else so what was most useful and valuable here for this conversation with Kevin and me fantastic what else was useful fantastic what else was useful love it.
Was there anything else useful and can you see how just imagining that just makes it for a deeper moment.
A deeper moment of reflection and learning so I’d say look if you’re gonna take.
One question away to really practice to use to make a habit and what else could be that question awesome I love that Michael big thanks for coming on the show please tell our listeners how they can find out more about you and your.
Work love it so here’s three.
Interested in the book in the book alone the coaching habit.
Calm and by the way there’s a ton of download you can download free chapters and videos and all sorts of stuff there if you’re interested in the program’s coaching box of crayons.
Offers because that’s what we do we’re a training company teaching busy managers how to coach in ten minutes or less box of crayons dot Bisbee I said or bi Z depending on how you show up in this world and then if you’d like to connect with me personally I’m on LinkedIn that’s my best social media place and you’ll find that.
I’m the only Michael Bungay Stanier in the entire universe so you will find me there.
It makes it easy for personal branding huh all right friends you’ve just been mentored just been coached just been taught by the great Michael Bungay stay near don’t forget you can get all the links he just mentioned and the notes from this interview over at lead x.org and you can get Michael’s book from amazon.com or your favorite bookstore and that’s it for today’s episode however don’t forget.
To download our free ebook Richard Branson’s 7 secrets to leadership at lead X.
Dot o-r-g forward slash Branson and until next time of course remember.
Leadership is not a choice because leadership is influence and you’re influencing.
Those around you when you speak up but also with your silence when you take action but also when you choose to be a bystander we are influencing people around.
Us all of the time we are all leaders so for today please lead with intent you.